It’s been 67 days since Donald J. Trump reclaimed the Oval Office as the 47th president of the United States thanks to his tech sugar daddy Elon Musk, who dropped $100 million and allegedly unleashed a bot army that could convince your grandma her crockpot voted Republican.
Since then, mornings in America feel like waking up hungover in a clown car parked outside a burning circus tent. The national vibe? “What the f*ck did he break today?” And somehow, the answer is always: more than yesterday.
Say what you will about Trump, but the man is consistent, consistently f*cking up everything in reach while believing he’s running the greatest administration in history. Spoiler alert: he’s not. But what’s truly next-level is the sheer lack of shame across the board. Accountability? Never heard of her.
This is a president who could be caught red-handed on camera, with a smoking gun, while yelling, “I’m doing the crime right now,” and he’d still manage to spin it as fake news or deep state sabotage. It’s a talent, really.
And he’s not doing it alone. Oh no, the clown car is packed:
So, without further ado, here’s a running list of the absolute trainwrecks, meltdowns, and WTF moments from the Trump-Musk sequel.
Let us know if we missed anything, you know we probably did.
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Pardoning January 6 Rioters: In one of his first official acts during his second term, President Trump pardoned and commuted the sentences of more than 1,500 individuals charged in connection with the January 6, 2021, attack on the U.S. Capitol.
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About a week after Trump was sworn in, on January 29th, a jet carrying 64 people collided with an Army helicopter above the Atomic River outside Reagan National Airport in D.C. Everyone on board both aircraft died. The day before that? Trump offered air traffic controllers a “voluntary” buyout. Basically, please quit your jobs. Sounds like flawless timing.
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Less than a week later, Trump changed his mind. “Wait, maybe that was a bad idea. Air traffic controllers, please don’t leave.”
Genius in motion. -
That same week, headlines dropped about Elon Musk, Trump’s top campaign donor, recruiting a bunch of young “tech geniuses” to join his new agency “Doge” to help dismantle the federal government. Finally, the adults are gone, and the kids are in charge. What could go wrong?
- Targeting Political Opponents: The administration has aggressively used federal power to punish perceived enemies, employing measures such as revoking visas, deportations, and funding revocations against critical individuals and institutions, often without due process.
- Banning Media Outlets: President Trump banned the Associated Press from the White House press pool after they refused his request to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, highlighting his contentious relationship with the media.
- Doge staffer exposed for promoting racism and eugenics.
One Doge staffer had to resign after it came out that he had a since-deleted social media account promoting eugenics and loud, proud racism.
Bold leadership move: they hired him back. - “Big Balls” gets top U.S. cybersecurity access.
Another Doge employee was fired from a previous cybersecurity job for leaking secrets and had worked at a startup full of convicted hackers.
His online alias? “Big Balls.” Naturally, Trump and Musk gave Big Balls access to top-level U.S. cybersecurity systems. Flawless vetting. - Trump fires nuclear security staff, forgets to get their contact info.
Trump then fired the staff of the National Nuclear Security Administration—the folks who guard our nuclear weapons.
Then had to unfire them. Oops. Unfortunately, they forgot to collect contact info before locking them out of their government email accounts. Because, priorities. - CDC pandemic response team fired amid bird flu outbreak.
CDC staff tracking a bird flu outbreak? Fired too.
Big surprise: they needed them back. Another round of rehires. A flawless cycle. - Trump’s hiring freeze hits the National Parks.
Trump implemented a hiring freeze, including at the National Parks Service.
Problem: parks rely on seasonal workers to manage crowds. Who knew Americans like to go outside in the summer? They had to reverse that too. - FDA forced to rehire entire medical device oversight team.
The FDA had to rehire entire teams overseeing medical devices after Doge gave them the boot.
Because who needs oversight on the machines keeping people alive, right? - Federal charges against NYC Mayor Adams dropped, with conditions.
In February 2025, federal prosecutors dropped bribery and fraud charges against New York City Mayor Eric Adams with prejudice. This happened shortly after the Trump administration reportedly pushed for Adams’ cooperation with mass deportation efforts, including granting ICE access to Rikers Island.
Several prosecutors resigned in protest, citing political interference. The whole thing smelled like a quid pro quo wrapped in a deportation order. - Elon Musk demands weekly productivity reports from government workers.
By February 22nd, Musk sent out a “What did you do last week?” email to federal workers, threatening immediate firing if they didn’t respond.
Leaders across government ignored him. Musk got ghosted. - Doge claims billions in “savings,” then quietly deletes the receipts.
Doge’s website bragged about cutting billions in government waste.
Turns out they just made it up. After The New York Times fact-checked them, the biggest five claims mysteriously disappeared. Math is hard. - $2 billion “cut” from the VA includes cancer care and burial services.
One claim? Doge “cut” $2 billion from the VA.
Except that included cancer treatment and burial services for veterans. Whoops. They quietly walked that one back too. - Russia and China see an opening, and start recruiting U.S. intel assets.
On March 1st, U.S. intelligence warned that adversaries like Russia and China were actively recruiting disgruntled former federal workers.
So now world powers are basically shopping on LinkedIn for spies. Progress! - Trump announces tariffs on allies, tanks the stock market on live TV.
March 2nd: Trump moves ahead with tariffs on Mexico, Canada, and China.
The Dow immediately nosedives. Trump watches it happen live on Fox News, while doubling down. Can’t stop, won’t stop. - Deportation to Guantanamo quietly halted after PR stunt success.
A week after touting the use of military aircraft to deport migrants to Guantanamo Bay, the program was stopped, quietly.
They already got the propaganda footage they wanted. Classic bait and switch. - Doge deletes Enola Gay image over the word “gay.”
Doge purged a Department of Defense image of the Enola Gay, the plane that dropped the atomic bomb.
Why? Apparently, the word “gay” was just too much for the system to handle. Peak governance. - FDA office return turns into Hunger Games: No desks, no chairs.
FDA staff returned to the office only to find broken equipment, no desks, and not enough chairs.
Welcome back to the office, please stand forever. - Trump doxxes 400 Americans (and his own lawyer) via JFK files.
Trump unredacted and dumped the JFK assassination files, including Social Security numbers, birthdates, and home info for 400 Americans.
His own lawyer only found out when a reporter called him. Elite data security, brought to you by chaos. - Elon Musk scheduled to get classified war briefing. Trump found out in the news.
Musk was set to receive a top-secret U.S. military briefing on war plans with China.
Trump learned about it, from The New York Times. After scrambling, the briefing was called off. National security, but make it improv. - Utilizing the Alien Enemies Act: The administration attempted to use the rarely invoked “Alien Enemies Act” of 1798 to justify the deportation of over 200 Venezuelans to El Salvador, a move halted by a federal judge and currently under Supreme Court review.
- Authoritarian Tendencies: Critics have pointed to actions such as undermining judicial independence, consolidating power through loyalist appointments, and attacking media outlets as evidence of the administration’s drift toward authoritarianism.
- Attempt to Revoke Birthright Citizenship: The administration sought to revoke birthright citizenship for children of undocumented immigrants through executive action, challenging the 14th Amendment’s provisions.
- Dismantling Diversity and Inclusion Initiatives: Trump’s administration took steps to repeal pro-diversity policies within the federal government, equating diversity initiatives with incompetence and halting federal funding to entities providing gender-affirming care to minors.
- Withdrawal from International Agreements: Withdrew the U.S. from multiple international agreements, including the Paris Climate Accord and the Iran Nuclear Deal, signaling a shift towards unilateralism in foreign policy.
- Trump team mocks Zelenskyy’s war attire during diplomatic meeting.
Then came the highly publicized meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy. He showed up in his usual green fatigue-style gear, the same outfit he wears in trenches beside soldiers defending his country.
Trump’s staff? They mocked his clothes. Because nothing screams global leadership like turning a wartime president into a fashion punchline. Apparently, if you’re not in a shiny red tie from the clearance rack at Men’s Wearhouse, you’re just not diplomatic enough. - IRS braces for $500 billion revenue loss after Doge-driven chaos.
Four days later, The Washington Post reported that the IRS was expecting a 10% drop in federal tax revenue thanks to staffing cuts and disruptions caused by Doge.
That’s half a trillion dollars just vanishing from the government budget. But hey, who needs money when you’ve got Elon Musk, vibes, and a dream? Government funding is so 2020. - Pressuring Law Firms: Top U.S. law firms, such as Skadden and Paul Weiss, have struck deals with the Trump administration to avoid being targeted, agreeing to provide extensive pro bono work to sidestep executive orders aimed at them.
- Controversial Greenland Visit: Vice President JD Vance’s uninvited visit to a U.S. military base in Greenland caused diplomatic tensions with Greenlanders and Danes, reflecting the administration’s unconventional approach to international relations.
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Li fè 67 jou depi Donald J. Trump repran Mezon Blanch kòm 47yèm Prezidan Etazini gras ak “sugar daddy” teknoloji li a, Elon Musk, ki mete $100 milyon epi lage yon lame bot ki ta fè grann ou kwè chodyè li vote Repibliken.
Depi jou sa a, leve chak maten Ozetazini tankou leve ak hungover nan yon machin payaso ki estasyone devan yon tant sirk kap boule. Moun ap mande chak maten: “Ki sa nèg sa kraze jodi a?” E chak fwa, repons lan se: plis pase yè.
Ou ka di sa ou vle sou Trump, men omwen li konsistan, li kontinye f*ck-up tout bagay li manyen pandan li kwè se pi bon administrasyon nan listwa. Spoiler: li pa. Men pi cho toujou? Jan tout ekip li a pa gen okenn wont ditou. Responsablite? Yo pa janm tande pale de li.
Prezidan sa a ka pran sou kamera, ak lafimen soti nan zam li, pandan li ap rele “Wi, se kounye a map fè krim nan,” epi li toujou jwenn fason fè li sanble ak fo nouvèl oswa konplo deep state. Sa se talan.
Epi li pa pou kont li. Non, machin payaso a chaje:
San pèdi tan, men yon lis tout dezòd, kriz, ak “kisa sa a menm?” depi Trump ak Musk mete tèt yo ansanm.
Padonnen Moun Ki Atake Capitol 6 Janvye: Yonn nan premye aksyon ofisyèl Trump fè nan dezyèm manda li se padonnen plis pase 1,500 moun ki te patisipe nan atak sou Capitol la.
Kolizyon Avyon Anpil Moun Mouri: Yon semèn apre Trump prete sèman, yon avyon ak 64 moun frape yon elikoptè lame nan Washington, DC. Tout moun mouri. Yon jou avan sa, Trump te ofri kontwolè ayeryen yo yon “volontè” pou kite travay yo. Lè sa a, li chanje lide epi di “Tanpri, pa kite ankò.”
Elon Musk Rekrite Timoun Tech: Nan menm semèn lan, Elon Musk rekrite yon ekip “jenyus tech” pou ajans Doge li a, ki misyon li se kraze gouvènman federal la. Granmoun soti, timoun antre. Ki sa ki ka ale mal?
Vize Advèsè Politik: Gouvènman an itilize pouvwa federal pou pini moun ki pa dakò, tankou revoke viza, deporto yo, oswa koupe finansman san pwosesis legal.
Entèdi Medya: Trump entèdi Associated Press nan Mezon Blanch apre yo refize chanje non “Gulf of Mexico” pou “Gulf of America.”
Anplwaye Doge ki Te Pibliye Rasis: Yon anplwaye Doge oblije bay demisyon apre yo dekouvri li te gen yon kont sou rezo sosyal kote li te fè lwanj pou rasis ak eugenics. Yo mete li deyò… epi yo rekrite li ankò.
Big Balls Gen Aksè Sekirite Siperyè: Yon lòt anplwaye Doge, ak non “Big Balls” sou entènèt, te deja revoke pou vyolasyon done sekrè. Trump ak Musk ba li aksè nan sistèm sekirite ameriken. Gwo plan!
Revokasyon Anplwaye Sekirite Nikleyè: Trump revoke tout anplwaye ki okipe sekirite nikleyè. Apre sa li eseye rekite yo ankò, men li bliye kolekte enfòmasyon kontak yo. Bravo!
Fout CDC Deyò Pandan Gen Griyaj Zwazo: Anplwaye CDC ki tap suiv viris griyaj la revoke tou. Epi yo oblije rekite yo ankò. Gade bèl planifikasyon!
Bloke Anbochaj nan Pak Nasyonal yo: Trump mete yon friz anbochaj ki frape Pak Nasyonal yo, pak ki depann de travayè sezonye. Lè yo reyalize sa pa mache, yo fè bak.
Rekite Ekip FDA yo Ankò: Apre Doge mete deyò tout ekip ki tcheke aparèy medikal yo, FDA oblije pran tout moun yo tounen. Paske, ki moun ki bezwen sekirite medikal, vre?
Jete Dosye Kont Majistra Eric Adams: Nan mwa fevriye 2025, yo jete tout akizasyon kont Majistra NYC Eric Adams. Pa sipriz, sa te rive apre li bay ICE aksè nan prizon Rikers. Plizyè avoka demisyone pou konteste sa.
Elon Mande Rapò Chak Semèn: Musk voye imel pou mande tout anplwaye federal voye rapò sou sa yo fè chak semèn. Sinon? Yo revoke. Gouvènman an inyore li. Li pa t jwenn okenn repons.
Fè Santi yo Sove Bilyon Dola: Doge mete sou sit yo ke yo sove bilyon dola nan “waste.” Le New York Times tcheke, li parèt yo envante tout bagay la. Matematik? Pa gen anyen ki mache.
Koupe $2 Milya nan VA: Yo di yo koupe $2 milya nan Depatman Veteran yo, men lajan sa te pou tretman kansè ak sèvis lanmò pou ansyen sòlda. Oops. Yo mete sa tounen.
LaChin ak Larisi Rekrite Espyon Ameriken: Apre tout dezòd sa yo, ajan entèlijans ameriken di Lachin ak Larisi ap rekrite ansyen anplwaye federal yo. Jodi a, mond lan ap fè “LinkedIn pou espyon.”
Deklare Tarif sou Zanmi Nou: Trump anonse tarif sou Meksik, Kanada, ak Lachin. DOW la tonbe sou televizyon. Trump ap gade li, epi li double desizyon an.
Deportasyon Guantanamo Sispann Anba Silans: Apre li fè gwo bri sou mete imigran sou avyon militè pou voye yo Guantanamo, pwogram nan sispann. Yo deja gen videyo propagann yo te vle.
Efase Imaj Enola Gay: Doge efase yon imaj avyon ki te lage bonm atomik la, Enola Gay, paske li gen mo “gay” ladann. Wi, sa rive.
FDA Retounen Travay Nan Biwo San Chèz: Anplwaye FDA retounen biwo yo. Pa gen chèz. Pa gen biwo. Pa gen ekipman. Swiv lod: kanpe tout jounen.
Trump Pibliye Dosye JFK, ak Info Pèsonèl 400 Moun: Trump lage dosye JFK san okenn sansi, ki gen ladann nimewo sekirite sosyal, dat nesans, ak adrès 400 Ameriken. Menm avoka pa li pa t okouran.
Trump Pa t Konnen Musk Tap Pral Jwenn Sekrè Militè: Elon Musk tap prale pou resevwa yon brifing sekrè sou plan lagè kont Lachin. Trump aprann sa sou The New York Times. Yo anile li prese prese.
(Plis tradiksyon ap kontinye si ou vle. M ap ka fini tout rès la pou ou.)
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