In the ever-changing world of fashion and street-style, jumping on a trend is risky business. You might look fly one day, and super wack the next. But you were young. You were bound to make mistakes. You wore ski goggles to the mall. You had jeans with your favorite basketball team logo on the pockets. Maybe you even rocked frosted tips for a minute (ok, that’s totally inexcusable, loser). But we can look back at those times and have some laughs, right? We examined the past couple of decades to find the 50 Men’s Fashion Trends That Never Should Have Happened. How many are you guilty of?
Square toed and pointy toes shoes
The creepy guy’s dress shoe. If by any chance you have a pair of these, and you don’t give out roofies like candy, use them only for killing roaches hiding in the corners of your apartment.
Tall tees
Hip-hop’s love affair with the tall tee still blows our minds. White tall tees, specifically, were rap’s uniform for a while in the early 2000s. Seriously, hip-hop red carpet events looked like giant toga parties. We’re glad the trend died down, along with snap music and ringtone rap.
Vests with no shirt underneath
Layering works like this: shirt, then vest, then jacket. The vest and the jacket are pretty interchangeable, but for every time someone rocks a vest with nothing underneath, God kills a stylist.
Girls’ jeans
Now that labels have been putting out slimmer jeans with guys in mind for years, it’s time to hang up your girl’s pair back in her closet and give the boys below some room to breathe. Don’t you miss that extra front pocket space? Besides, no one really listens to screamo anymore and you’re far too old to be spotted at Warped Tour.
White people with cornrows and dreadlocks
Google image search “white people cornrows” and you will see a ton of photos of Kevin Federline. Now ask yourself: “do I want to be associated with Kevin Federline?”
Name plate belts
Pretty much all statement belts are awful, but the fact that name plates are customizable makes it even more embarrassing for the people who followed the trend in the early 2000s.
Frosted tips
Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath and celeb chef Guy Fieri have sported this spiky ‘do. We prefer to call it a spiky don’t. Nick Lachey, what hath you wrought?
Fitted hats with stickers on the brims
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O.K. we get it, you have over $50. And if you think girls are correlating hat size with your junk, you’ve already failed at life.
Tattoo designed long-sleeved shirts
Either you have tattoos or you don’t. You either have sleeves, or you have a real job. Well, a bunch of tools decided to design sheer shirts with tattoo designs so it looks like you have sleeves. What in the hell???
Sleeveless hoodies
Dear scientist who invented the sleeveless hoodie, thank you for making clothing for the idiots confused by the climate change. Without your help, what would they have worn?
Fox tail belt accessories
Pin the tail on the donkey—literally, you ass!
Mars Candy/M&M; leather jackets
The best way to ruin a buttery leather jacket is to tack M&M; characters on it. For some odd reason, it was cool to rock these in the ’90s, but Soulja Boy isn’t doing anyone favors by bringing it back. Fool looks like a walking cavity.
Velour tracksuits
Brands are still making these—crazy right? Velour tracksuits have had a long run in the fashion community. It’s made out of soft velour, but designed like a sweatsuit. Luxury meets casual lifestyle. But trust us when we say it sounds way better than it looks.
Deep V-necks
Deep V-necks are like the sweater vests of summertime: impractical, really hard to pull off, and its existence is pretty injustifiable. Is there really a type of weather where you need to keep your chest cool and biceps warm? Didn’t think so. Friends don’t let friends show man boob.
Pastel Timberland boots
Timberland boots have always been a staple for the winter season. They’re practical and badass because all the New York rappers wore them in the ’90s. But you think Raekwon and Styles P would have street cred if they wore these joints in Easter egg colors? Nah, B.
Hemp necklaces and shell chokers
Puka is one letter away from “puke.”
Bieber-style hair
The pop singer’s trademark mop-top got so unbearable, even he had to get rid of it. Everyone else still rocking this hairstyle, please follow suit. Your eyes will thank you for your newfound peripheral vision. Wearing clothes backwards like K
Crystal studded belts
Yo L, What Up? You have a gross belt. Nothing says “I’m a thug” more than bedazzled accessories.
Layering polo shirts
Oof. The prep-slash-douchebaggery that plagued frat houses everywhere starting in 2003. What was worse, wearing two polos or buying one that was pre-layered?
Hammer/parachute pants
I’m MC hammer, I’m about cream. We appreciate Rick Ross here at Complex, but MC Hammer wore ugly pants and lost his cream to bankruptcy. Two things that never should have happened.
Wallet chains
The club kids of the ’90s loved to jingle these chains on their massive rave jeans. Maaaaaybe these would be acceptable if your were a mail carrier or a janitorial engineer, but it’s not like your broke-ass has enough stacks to need chain security anyway.
Color coordinating du-rags with outfits
Your style icon is likely Flavor Flav
Wearing clothes backwards like Kris Kross
Everything was backwards in the early ’90s—thanks to Kris Kross—but that is no excuse for having your zipper on your backside. Good luck taking a leak!
Sport sandals with socks
Unless you just took off your cleats, you shouldn’t be rocking white socks with sports sandals. Strictly for the locker room, bro.
Carpenter jeans
1993 to 1995 was the peak of carpenter jeans. These high-waisted pants were the ugliest things our dads wore. The denim always came in the wackest wash and had more loops and pockets than even a construction worker could ever need.
Crocs
Crocs. Foam clogs. What’s the difference? These horrible shoes became a hit in ’06, with the selling point being that they’re so comfortable, you won’t want to take them off. Wrong! We wanted to rip them off the feet of every dude we saw rocking them. Of course, the three founders made a fortune off of the fashion fail—lucky, unstylish bastards.
JNCOs
Wide leg jeans from brands like JNCO and Kikwear were another example of how horrible ’90s style was. These things ate up your shoe and looked like an ugly denim skirt cut in half and sewn together to form a pair of legs. Forget bell bottoms, these things were more like “hell bottoms.”
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